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I was sixteen and attending a winter retreat with my church youth group. The theme for the weekend was simple: “Blow your own horn.” For many of the other teenagers, that sounded like fun. For me, it sounded dangerous. I wasn’t very good at talking about my strengths. In fact, I had spent much of my childhood learning the opposite. Growing up, it felt safer to make myself small—to avoid drawing attention to myself and

When someone says networking, what picture pops into your mind? A business conference? A chamber of commerce mixer? Name tags? Elevator pitches? The awkward moment of balancing a plate of appetizers while trying to remember someone’s name? You’re not alone. That is the traditional concept and focus of networking. Now think about summer. Vacations. Gardens. Cookouts. Beaches. Farmers’ markets. Outdoor concerts. Community festivals. Long evenings on the porch. Networking probably isn’t anywhere on that list.

There are truths about human development that deserve to be stated plainly: shame is not an effective leadership or educational tool. It never has been. From the 17th through 19th centuries, shame was commonly used as a mechanism for discipline and behavioral control. In homes, schools, religious institutions, and workplaces, humiliation and embarrassment were often mistaken for moral instruction. The cost was enormous. Many learning opportunities were lost, and many spirits diminished under the weight