Every now and then, life surprises us. A path we were sure would be steep suddenly smooths. Steps seem to line up effortlessly. Doors we didn’t even know to knock on swing wide. Some people call these experiences “lucky breaks.” I sometimes call them “blessingways.” Whatever the name, most of us have felt that quiet, curious wonder when things just… work.
What’s less common is taking the time to pause, look back, and ask: What did I do differently this time? It’s easy to shrug and chalk it up to magic, fate, or coincidence. But when we do that, we risk missing something essential — our own agency.
When I worked as a full-time mental health professional, I noticed something interesting. Whenever a client reported that something had fallen perfectly into place “like magic”, my stomach tightened just a bit. Not because I wasn’t happy for them — I was! But I knew that if we didn’t explore how this success happened, it would be a while before we saw it again. If the client couldn’t identify what they had done differently — a new boundary, clearer communication, a changed mindset, a moment of courage — then the experience would drift away into the realm of “miracles,” and we would likely end up back where we started, missing the opportunity for sustainable growth.
My goal was never to take away the wonder. It was simply to help people own their growth.
That commitment has stayed with me across every chapter of my professional life. Sustainable change — the kind that lasts — requires self-awareness. It asks us to consciously choose new ways of being, especially in situations we hope will shift. When something goes more smoothly than expected, taking time to notice our choices is like leaving breadcrumbs for ourselves. We can find our way back and look forward.
You’ve probably heard the old line often (and loosely) attributed to Einstein:
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and getting the same result, while expecting a different one.”
Regardless of who said it, this wisdom rings true.
When we lovingly examine our successes — not just our stumbles — we learn how to repeat them. We build a map, a neural pathway of new behavior, thought, and/or choice. Over time, those “miraculous” moments stop feeling like rare gifts and start becoming intentional and familiar companions on the journey.
This month, I invite you to reflect:
- When things go well, what choices did you make that made a difference?
- What did you try that was new?
- What old habit did you loosen your grip on?
- What bit of courage did you quietly exercise?
Notice. Name it. Celebrate it.
Because those moments aren’t just blessings happening to us. They’re often blessings emerging through us.
And that is something worth recognizing — and repeating.
